Friday, July 27, 2012

Different shades of black...

 Last week I went with my husband to see some house agents and check out what houses were available, when we got to Ogba, we picked up an agent and headed for the first check. On our way the guy went "err oga o, where are you from again?" and my husband abruptly stepped on the brakes and yelled "oh not again". I got confused and turned to look at the agent to perhaps see if I could get an explanation but he simply turned away. I tapped my hubby, "what's going on? he only asked a question, why did you yell?" I was shocked at my husband's response. "Its not just a question, some landlords won't rent out houses to Igbos", to say that I was dazed is to put it lightly. I never ever imagined a thing like this going on in Lagos kwa!  I heard that even when the person is yoruba, some landlords want to know what state or area in particular. There's the discrimantion against the Ekitis and Ijebus....Ekiti because they are over educated and can not be manipulated, the Ijebus cos they are very similar to the Igbos in character. For real?!!!   And yet we are all blacks, all Africans, one Nigeria! 

While I was ranting and getting all worked up my husband said "look this thing is everywhere including the Igbos cos while we may not fight the non-igbos, we fight ourselves". He went on to remind me all the drama that surrounded our getting married for the simple fact that we don't come from the same part of Igbo land. My dad for instance seems to have this major phobia for my husband's people, and my hubby's own people hardly allow their children marry outsiders. Its such a big issue that we have one thing or the other against ourselves. The table below explains how we've stereotyped ourselves in Igbo land

Their women are domineering and unsubmissive. The men are traders and hardly go to school
Ngwa (Abia State)
Owerri, Mbaitoli, Ikeduru (Imo State)
Their women are loose and wayward, hardly last in marriage. The men are 419ners i.e. Ikeduru
Abiriba (Abia State)
Diabolic, polygamous, drug dealers and little or no respect for women
Mbaise (Imo State)
Greedy, slimy, crafty
Nsukka (Enugu State)
Local, timid
Local, timid
Mbano (Imo)
Dirty and Vulgar

And you know the funny thing? The Mbaise man will forget what he is 'known' for and discriminate against the 'Ngwa' man, which makes me wonder.  While there may be some truth to these perceptions we have of ourselves, it is silly to think that everyone is like that. Can we just love ourselves and push these things aside? is it possible that we can pretend that no one is perfect and accept one another? is it possible? Yes it is! it begins with you and I.

Nigeria is far from being one...we may be Africans, Nigerians, blacks and all, but our shades of black differ.

Friday, July 20, 2012

Before, During and After.....

I've been under a lot of pressure lately. People have pressured me into pressuring myself and now I'm pressured! LOL! You know how someone sees you and goes wow you've lost all that pregnancy fat, how did you do it? Another person will see you and shout chineke Nonye you now look like mama! Its so confusing and overwhelming., like I dont know what to believe anymore. I'm under a lot of pressure to get back into shape and oh so lazy  to work out.. oh well I started to look at pictures before, during and after pregnancy to help me feel better. One thing I know is, our bodies are not the same and respond differently so I'm going to try hard to look good even if not in the same size I was before pregnancy.


I was actually a week pregnant here..



So thats it! You tell me....but I promise your comments wont pressure me more than I already am. (did I get that English right?)

Friday, July 6, 2012

Marry Me With Your Own Money

Today is not one of my best days blog wise cos I'm sooooo lost as to what I actually want to write but I'll just keep typing. (2hour pause). Ok! Since I still dont know what to talk about, I'll let you entertain me. So here, give me your honest opinion on the question below:

IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH A WOMAN SPONSORING HER WEDDING WHILE THE HUSBAND 'SUPPORTS'? would you as a woman be willing to do it for any man? and as a man would you be comfortable supporting a woman while she bears bulk of the financial burden??  Whatever your answer is, tell me why?

I wait!