Let me start this post by saying that I hate to feel or sound like I know it all when it comes to men and marriage cos I don’t know jack! I’m still wearing a major L sign on my neck. However some things are plain for all to see, whether single or married. So please I am not doing this post from a married woman’s point of view even though I will chip in a few things marriage has taught me.
Here we go!:
Sometime last week, I was chatting with someone who says all men cheat, that its impossible for man to have one girlfriend. I tried to point out to her that while I will not vouch for anyone, I do know there are men who have much more important priorities in life than to run after different women. I doubt her perspective changed but really that’s her. This is what I believe, if men constantly cheat on you, lie to you or make you a side dish, sister re-evaluate yourself! It is okay to go through disappointments in relationship once or twice, I mean sometimes that’s how we learn to differentiate between the good and the bad BUT if it happens to you more often than mentioned then something is wrong with you! Yes I said it! (Sue me please!)
Ask yourself how come every man I meet just wants sex? Is it not your fellow women these men are engaging and marrying weekend after weekend? Why can’t it be you? The answer is simple; the man doesn’t see you as a wife! Do you even see yourself as a wife? When you have 10,000 female friends, you tell us on twitter and bbm how you downed half a bottle of Henny mixed with vodka and ogogoro, club 109 loading, club 17 down, 19 to go…c’mon na! Even wives drink, wives club with hubbies but the magic formula is moderation, discretion and self-respect! Check yourself and the seemingly tiny things you do that give you away as wild, loose and wayward, those might be why men think you are just a play thing.
Here are 5 things that might help somebody:
1. Carry yourself like a virtuous woman; pretend you have kids waiting for you at home. When you open your mouth to talk, pretend your husband and kids are listening
2. Drop some friends! You heard me! Men don’t take women who have too many female friends seriously. When next you wanna hit the movies, try going alone. It is easier for a man to approach you when you are alone than in the midst of 8 friends.
3. Form values for yourself and wear them on your forehead! #nuffsaid!
4. Please please and please again, be ‘aware’! You don’t have to know every topic or pretend to know but at least have an idea. Be able to make meaningful contribution to important topics. Linda Ikeji’s blog is not the only thing on the internet; find out what’s going on in other parts of the world, sports, fashion etc. if you are a fashion-conscious person, even if you buy your clothes from Balogun market you should know Giuseppe Zanotti, Manolo Blahnik etc. ( I don’t own any pair from them but I at least I know who they are)
5. PROVERBS 31: 30! #cant be over emphasized!
Have a beautiful weekend! And go get that brother!!
|Hubby and I at the defunct Bacchus Club...sometime in 2010 after work (pre-marriage)|