Monday, January 27, 2014

Telephone Boyfriend

Finally I do a post this year, Jah Jehovah!

Ok so its been said that a woman's ears are the windows to her heart while for the man its his eyes. Well I dont know how true but this may explain why a woman will easily fall in love with an nchi`as long as he's saying the right things to her. Now this post is supposed to be about telephone love but I'll merge it with 'arrangee marriage' cos in my case I experienced a two-in-one dose.
Last week on twitter the issue of Love Marriage vs Arranged Marriage was up and as is with most topics raised there I just read up, laughed and shared with my husband without really making any contribution. I read a lot of interesting views from some of my fave ladies there : @Gbemisoke, @anafricandiva, @zinniep, @naijawife etc one of the things that caught my attention was an opinion that arranged marriages work because the 'arranger' knows the 'arrangees' well... To which I said hmmmmmmm...

February 2008:

My dear friend and colleague comes to my desk one afternoon and says there's this guy she knows who wants a babe. He's nice, Igbo and lives in the UK, "make I give am your number? I already told him about you". Well whats a sister to lose? I told her to go ahead. Same night Patosky bobo called and it started. We'll talk for hours, joke and laugh, he was my soul mate! Lol. When he sent his first photo,love dropped. I requested for full length photo he sent, I asked for head shot, mug shot, side view, back view, bobo sent! Well beauty is in the eyes of the beholder abi? I made him my Boris Kodjoe, and we sailed on. One day I got a call from front desk that someone was at the reception to see me, when I got there dude handed me a small package from "your boyfriend" he said. In it were two wallets and a small frame with some nice write up, woooow! He's romantic too! Ebelebe nnoo. Few months later, Patosky announces he'll be visiting, he asked what I wanted and I said packs of Green Tea. "Green Tea? Only Green Tea?" he queried. Oya bobo add sunglasses na, brown plastic frame, he said ok. A week to his return he called me to get the exact type of sunglasses I wanted, I explained again and he said "ok no wahala I'm doing your shopping this morning". On the D-day, we were having a training in Ikeja and I asked him to meet me there. When he called to say he was on the street I ran outside and looked into all the cars parked there and not even one car had a driver waiting for oga in it. Where the heck is he na? My phone rang and first thing I heard is " I think I can see you", I turned around and saw him bouncing up the street holding this grey nylon GTB uses to give cash. To cut a long story short, I instantly took back the statement I made earlier that he was my last bus stop, dude was acting so lousy and I was appalled to say the least. Oya gift time! He hands me the grey nylon and I didnt bother opening it until he left, I walked him to the road and he took a bike! Bike! Onye choro ilu m?! Haa! Now pls don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong him not having a car but what about packaging small? I mean you came from jand! And u've bragged no be small.
Before you judge me,let me quickly chip in that when I met my hubs he wasnt driving anything correct, but he was and still is a gentleman! With his average salary he'll treat me to the finest buka foods. He took me through his goals and visions and I keyed in. We've been married for 4yrs and with every new achievement I'm glad I believed in him. Over those buka take outs we talked about our dreams, future, our kids, where we wanted to have them etc and he has worked hard to make them happen. So I do believe in the days of humble beginings but this Pato brother didnt come humble at all!

Anyways, after seeing him off I finally opened the nylon, brethren what do I see? 2 packs of Twinings Green Tea pere!  
Abeg let me continue this post on Wednesday. As my son's nanny will say "baby is wake".

*ps ignore my writing, punctuations and co. Thank you*


  1. Hehehehehehehehe come back here and finish this story o!

  2. What explanation did your colleague give for hooking you up with that kind man? Let me sha wait for the rest of the story loollll

  3. One question...what does "nchi" mean?

  4. Nonye ooooooo! Loool I'm going to get the brother to come and read this post. @naijawife: nchi is bush meat I believe

  5. Hahahahha very dramatic nonye, pack of character! Anyway nice write up, some arrangeee won't work while some wld! I had one frd hooking me wit one without a job and frm our conversation, I had to shift him oneside, one thing is nt to have a job another thing is wat re u doing towards it than lazying about....jst cuz we ladies want to answer Mrs doesn't mean u shld jst setlle for anything ooooooo..Mz.Bee

  6. Laughing hard. The Bro fell your hand big time abi? Please continue....

  7. LMAOOOO......Boris Kodjoe lost his footing fa! LMAOOOOOO. Please tell me you "staked" the matchmaking coworker...lmaoooooo...I cant even imagine, biko nu!
    For the benefit of us ngbati ngbati people, Nne, be like Sugabelly...teach us some Igbo while you are here! What;s the meaning of ur throwing them igbo sentences without translation? Be warned!

  8. Lool no vex! Nchi - bush animal, onye choro ilu m - person wey wan marry me, Ebelebe nnoo - na so (or anythin that sounds like that)

  9. Lol. Jesus ! This put me in trouble at work. Two bags of tea ke ?